salamandher | [Audio]

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[Audio]

Right... so people are ranting and raving that the staff aren't telling us things. I got that. Also got they were a little shady on the whole dog-bite thing.

So, that in mind?

The hell else aren't they warning us about when we show up here? You know, so I don't get zombie-curse-bites in the future.

[The audio pauses.]

And... is there anywhere other than the tiny cell rooms to hole up in? Like. Not tiny cell rooms?

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Is there anyone who wouldn't?

[Right, he'll just be quiet and feel stupid for mentioning anything about that.]

The horses aren't so bad. It's the moose that's the problem.

Necrophiliacs.

[Why yes, she did deadpan that answer.]

... Wait. Moose? Why is there a moose in there?

[That actually gets a chuckle out of him.]

At least someone is happy I guess.

Because it won't leave? It's been here longer than I have I think.

Does it have a little moose saddle too? Or does it just stand around feeling inadequate when the horses go on parade?

Not really, I haven't seen anyone get near it without it trying to bash someone's skull in.

So... yeah, it has horse envy. In the worse possible way.

I guess so, but I don't want to get close enough to figure out what its problem is.

So you're not a moose-whisperer?

If I am I'm no good at it. The last time I got near that thing I found out personally just how mean it can get.

Did your good intentions bite you in the ass?

It was really more bad luck than good intentions. I ended up falling through the second floor of the stables into its pen.

You... fell into the pen of an angry moose.

And you think living in the stables is an okay plan?

It only happened once, and I fixed the hole afterwards.

[It's a foolproof plan! Really!]

Yeah, still not reassuring.

Well, there's still plenty of other places around here.

So help out a claustrophobic chick and spill.

Well there are the towers. Lots of room in them.

But are they empty? Like, no zombie-women empty.

There's no one living in them if that's what you mean. No one I've seen anyway.

I... guess that'll work.

I can help you look through them if you want.

Aren't you just a knight in slightly derpy armor?

Um, thanks. I just like to help where I can.

[He can't tell if he's being mocked or not.]

You do this for all the chicks, or did I just get lucky?

N-no, I mean, uh, it's just that...

[Deep breath. Use your words.]

Like I said, I just like to help.